Friday

To each his own.


"Be the change that you want to see" and "Charity begins from home" are a few of the quotes that are brainwashed on our minds and written on thoughts of the day boards in school. We grew up reading and trying hard to understand how they can be implemented in our sorry lives. The teachers took pains in making us learn the words the meanings we hardly understood, implementing them would be far as a stone. Seriously do we need the things we learn in schools? I am a great supporter of education specially education for women and young girls, but what needs to be done is teaching life skills to survive on those skills if god forbid we need them to support our lives. The main aim in any good Indian house is getting a couple of degrees, then joining the job force and grinding till the retirement age and retiring to a hefty pension or savings to live the rest of our life on. But what about the life skills like cooking, sewing or even do it your own jobs. These are just the tip of the ice berg I want to see the changes in. Start small and go big is my way of getting around the issues. Plant a seed, grow  a tree, do stuff with your kids that they will appreciate, buying a X Box seems pretty cool, but try playing it with them also.

'Be the change Contest" from Indiblogger has once again given me the motivation to write my thoughts and raise my voice on smaller things that bother me a s a MOM and a human being.

We Indians call ourselves free and liberal from age old myths and traditions, yet are we OK with actually sharing the apartment building with a taxi driver, or a Janitor? We say we no longer believe in castes and caste based professions, yet when our kid decides to marry into another caste, we raise hue and cry and blame the next gen for all wrong happening in our society. First and foremost thing to be changed is how we think and how we react. I realized when I landed in  the USA as  a newly married wife, that we as Indians are generally so judgmental of the others that we forget that the basic principle of any relationship or friendship is Mutual Respect. When my son started daycare, he came home one day and told my mom that his best friends is an American with  half french half Chinese background. It took some time for us to realize that it is an individual identity that the kid has by adopting half of each cultures from each parent. Another jolt for my poor mom was when he mentioned another kid with 2 moms and no dad. It was all OK in this culture and we never winked any eyebrows or passed nasty stares when we met their parents. When I moved to my newer town, one of my neighbor was a Limo Driver and another was a psychiatrist. I was amazed at the diversity and the kind of life this society offered to me. This got me thinking Would I be so proud about this had I been In India. I would have bragged that my neighbor is one of the big shot doctor, and yet wisely hidden the fact that another was a mere Limo Driver. Would I have been comfortable of letting my kids mingle with the drivers kids? Are we surely liberal in all that we do today???

Another thing that stung me bad was the attitude we as Indians have. We want to make friends thinking of all the benefits we can extract from that relation. How much we give is not important as how much can we get back? Selfishness is growing leaps and bounds and there is no stopping this monster. It first starts with colleagues and pulling legs in office, taking credit for others work, slowly it crawls to our homes. We abuse our old parents leave them out under the name of Stress. How easy it is for us to throw them out like  a pair of old clothes or sneakers. Have we thought of the age old saying "Reap what you Sow", is this the kind of India we saw grew up in? Where is the humbleness, politeness gone? How many of us get up in  a crowded train/bus and offer seat to an ailing aged or handicapped?

If I were to change a few things,I would start with the moral ethics of all Indians and humans in general.What is not mine is not mine..period.. it cannot get simpler than this...if a 2 year old can understand this, why do we as adults find it so hard to digest? When we see someone in difficulty, why do we say, To each his own and not try and help that person? Are we so aloof as humans that we cannot share a drop of tear with anyone. "I am Busy" has  a new meaning as I do not want to there for you.

Making a few minor changes that can make major differences in the society  we live in. I am, not aiming at bigger changes  to change the country, but smaller ones to make  a huge difference. After all what am I, But just a Mom!!!

This post is written for the contest and if you are a part of the Indiblogger please vote for me and also like
Time to change facebook page 



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4 comments:

Unknown said...

nice post!..loved reading it....u perfectly put words on paper!

Blackswan said...

Well said, my dear! A very inspiring post indeed & I'm proud of u, Ash :)

hemalata said...

Very interesting post, thanks for sharing.

Manasi said...

IMHO, it is not just Indians, but many others who have this kind of , can I call it -a problem? for the lack of a better word?
As a child, the mind is uncluttered with any pre-formed ideas about caste, color etc.
It is education that can drive away these prejudices, but the fact remains, the change has to come from an inner conviction, that all human beings are created equal in His eyes. Accept that and it gets easier.
When I say this, would I let my child play with a driver's son? I 'd be careful about judging at the beginning, as long as I can be sure that my child is not bullied or taught something I don't want, I guess I'd be okay.... heck, what if a child from educated parents with a lot of pocket money teaches him excesses? the scale can tilt anywhere!
Just saying, my 2p.