Rose Water Infused Cofee Soap.

Hello Dearies!!! I have made and send soap to a few of my trusted friends recently. I needed some opinion of how and what changes I needed to make. Some of them said no changed are needed while someone suggested if they had some kind of exfoliate in them, the soap would be a great scrub. Your wish was my command, I set the grey in my brain to work. I though of adding oats first, then backed out as I did not find any oats that were ground so fine. I searched my pantry to find any thing that would work, I found filter coffee, rose water, milled flax seed and some sesame oil. So with these ingredients, I set to work.

The wonder never ceases as I can mix and change according to my mood and fancy. Its as easy as 1-2 -3. Video link for melt and pour.
1- Melt
2- Add and stir
3. Pour and set in molds.

This batch I made is of rose water and filter coffee. I had made my homemade rose water that needed to be put to use, what better than soap. Next batch is likely to be with shea butter, cream, turmeric along with some sesame oil. 

Wish me luck and join me in this wonderful world of home made soap. The options and combinations are endless. Soap and lotion making has given me a good insight in things I can do and make in my home with everyday ingerdients. Do you have any tested recipes and home spa remedies that you have been practicing at home? Share them in Comments, looking forward to hearing all your tips and practices.

Lotion Bars with 3 simple ingredients.

Fall is in the air and in Ashland!!!  Really every thing is falling in its place for sure. School started and routine fell in its place, kids  went back to school falling deep into the books. With fall comes the worry of chapped lips and cracked heels for most of us. I usually hunt for coupons during this time of the year to stock up on the usual petroleum jelly, moisturizing lotion and Aveeno Lotions. Why you ask, because peeps in Ashland are blessed with rough a d dry skin. My Munchkin gets irritated with rashes and red blotches due to dryness. He itches till the point it starts bleeding. Donut refuses to apply any cream or lotion as it makes him sticky and shiny all day and kids kind of make fun of him. My hunt for an all body suave ended when I came across two of the most helpful sites. Wellness mama and crunchy betty. I mean they are the best when it comes to wellness the pantry way. If you remember I made home made lotion and lip balm not many days ago, I made them again and again. This time I set them in these cute molds from IKEA. I wanted some thing to carry with me in small boxes which were not messy, easy to carry and would not leak or spill in my tote. These lotion bars solve all the hurdles and they work from hair to cuticle. Apply bit of it on wet damp hair and say bye bye to frizz., apply on cracked heels at night and say hello to pampered feet. The recipe is simple and needs only 3 simple ingredients. The oils can be changed as per your likes

Source

You will need;

 Bees wax

 Coconut Oil

 Olive Oil

 All the above 3 in equal parts.

For the lotion bars, take bees wax, olive oil and coconut oil in same proportion and melt in a glass jar in double boiler. if you want to add in essential oils or essence add in after the base oils melt, once all is melted, set in molds. or in small jars. use as you like.

So what are we waiting for, welcome to the wonders of your kitchen and get set go on making all natural, easy on your pocket and good for you treats.

Peak into my Garden

Rosemary and Sage

Hello Dearies!!Today I am doing no talking just showing around a few of my priced flowers/herbs that gave me immense joy and prove to Mr. Ash that the brown thumb is shedding making way for  a greener one.

Celery root planted from the store brought celery. Best out of waste project

Celery and Spring Onion root planted from the store brought celery and spring onion. Best out of waste project

 

Rope of the bell made from assorted old shoelaces, best our of waste project

 Front view of the home Garden

Hibiscus Plant a Mothers Day Gift.

Jasmine Glory

Chavli chi usal-Blackeyed bean usal- and an Award

Hello Dearies!!! I know I hear the groans, but relax, I am back again cooking after a small break posting only soaps, lotions and sundry. I am posting a very down to earth and humble bean dish. This is so versatile, pairs well with steamed rice, roti or even bread. Peeps in Ashland like to have this as is with some chopped onions, lemon juice and shev. This is  a very maharshtrian preparation sans the coconut and kadhi putta. A truly hearty subji which you can have as a soup also. I love dunking my bread in this on a rainy day!!! Making usal is my Go-o thing on busy dinner nights. I make usal all the time, as I usually have some or the other kind of sprouts ready to go. The base of the curry can be kept the same and variety of beans like White peas, green peas, lentils, black kidney beans or black beans can be used.

You will need; 

1 cup dried Chavali/Blackeyed peas - soaked in hot water for 5-6 hours and boiled with 2 cups water in a pressure cooker for 2-3 whistles. Alternatively used canned. Just wash and drain the beans from the can.

1 onion diced small

1 tomato diced small

1 inch ginger grated

3 cloves garlic mashed

1 tspn Usal Masala- Substitute with 1/2 tspn Garam masala + 1/2 tsp Cayenne pepper 

1 tspn Goda Masala- Black Garam Masala commonly used in Marathi speaking homes.-Optional

Juice of 1 lemon

Salt to taste

Tempering

2 tbspn oil

1 tsppn Jeera/cumin seeds

1 tsp rai/mustard seeds

pinch of hing/asafodita

1tsp turmeric/haldi

Heat a wok on medium heat and add oil, add the tempering ingredients, rai/mustard seeds and jeera/cumin seeds, let it sizzle and then add the onions, tomatoes, ginger and garlic, then add the turmeric/haldi and hing and fry till the onion and tomatoes get cooked and oil starts separating from the sides. Then add the boiled peas with the water in which it was cooked.Then add the usal masala, salt and lemon juice and cover and cook for 5-7 mins. The usal is ready.

** The Usal masala I have is very spicy, so adjust the heat levels as per your liking. Generally it is wiser to start with less amounts and increase to you liking.

It''s Award time again. Shailaja also shared this award with me. thank You Shailaja for keeping me in mind and sharing this award.

Rules for receiving award:

1)  Each person must post 11 things about themselves.

2)  Answer the questions, the tagger has set for you.

3)  Choose 11 people and link them in your post.

4)  Create 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged to answer.

5)  Go to their page and tell them.

6)  Remember, no tag back.

Rule 1: Post 11 things about yourself

1. I like gardening, OK I try very year, but this year my garden has been kind on my soul.

2. I like to create with hands, make soap and lotion. The whole process calms me.

3. Spend time with my munchkins.

4. read blogs/ pintrest like bible or text books.

5. I am a good friend

6. I am MAD- Recently people around me have been saying this a lot of times.

7. I am die hard foodie

8. I like to admire people on loop roller coasters, but never dare ride one.

9.  I heart people who are organized, wish I could be more like them.

10. I  an a blogger 24/7

11. I am a MOM 24/7

 

1) Who was the inspiration behind your blog?

Pallavi of a Cook @Heart and Manali of Cravings mainly planted the seed of blogging. Also want to specially Thank Aparna of Square Meals who comments regularly and also shared all of her awards with me.

2) What you will do when you are free?

Will.. I already am making my soap and lotion in my free time.

3) What kind of movies do you enjoy?

Family and comedy based movies, no rona dhona for me.

4) What kind of people you like?

Frank and honest

5) What kind of food you like?

Spicy then sweet then again spicy. U get the picture. I like Food.

6) Most memorable moment.

Many. Cannot name one. Each moment taught me memorable things.

7) Who is the best teacher in your school?

My Tuition teacher Mrs. Nalavade.

8) Who is the role model in your life?

Have many women as role models.

9) What is your favorite movie?

I like to watch Jaane bhi do yarroon again and again!!!

10) Name one book you had to read but hated?  

School text Books

11) What is your favorite album?

have different choice of music depending on the day and occasions.

Rule 2: Answer the question

Who inspire you for creating such a wonderful food blog and what you think about Shailaja's blog? Any suggestions for her?   

 Inspiration behind the blog is mainly my readers and blogger friends who without knowing me, offer me free advice, suggestions and they are trying constantly to improve my space. Some hinted and pushed me to start exploring my writing skills, which I eventually am enjoying. They take pains to read each and every word I write, which is huge for me.

Suggestions for you, I am still new to be giving any suggestions, just do what you like to do and keep doing/blogging without a care in the world. Followers and fame is not the essence of blogging, but doing what you enjoy is.

Rule 3: Choose 11 people and link them in your post

I would like to Share this award with;
1  Manasi of Cook@heart
2. Manali of Cravings

3. Smitha of smithasspicyflavors
4. Ms. Chitchat  of chitchatcrossroads
5. Amarendra of Amu's Recipes

6.Neelam of Kane's Coop

7. Balvinder of Gluten Free Food

8. Shirley Of Shirley's Luxury Haven

9. Jagruti of JCO

10. Aparna of Square Meals

11. Kavi of Foodmania

Rule 4: Create 11 questions for the people you've tagged to answer

1) Reason behind your blogging?

2) What do you do when you are free?

3) What kind of movies do you enjoy?

4) What kind of people you like?

5) What kind of food you like?

6) Why do you follow a blog?

7) What motivates you to comment on certain blog posts?

8) Who is the role model in your life?

9) What is your favorite blog post and why?

10)What blog post you thought would receive most comments and were you disappointed when It did not?

11) What is your take on being inspired? like Plagiarism in covers?

Shadi ka ladoo- Matrimony.com

**** This post is written for Indiblogger and Sony entertainment television Contest on Indiblogger for the upcoming show LoveYaArrange

 Before I start my post a Quick dekho of this concept.

Coming back to today's post, in some parts its hilarious and in some plain pathetic. Y so, read on. I guarantee I will not bore you or  make you bang your head on the nearest wall. But most if not all will definitely relate to it if you have ever been subjected to this sort of match making. If I begin telling my kids teachers that I did not fall in love and then get married, I get a look. Yes the look which says where the hell do you come from where you get married in a blind date set up. That is my dear readers, happens only in India. Girls and boys are not allowed to date openly. The list of don't exceeded the list of do's.  The alarms were raised if someone reported talking or being extra friends with any male before the girl even reached home. Girls are allowed many boys as friends, but strictly no boyfriend. That is a clear NO No at home.

 The story is about  a young girl, for story telling and disclaimer purposes just call her Uma, a very Typical Indian name. Uma was a very independent girl focused on her law degree to find any guy interesting or soul mate type. Some boys her age thought of her as a book worm some thought of her as  good old girl with whom you can share your girlfriend woes, borrow money to buy them gifts and then never return that and some simply stayed away. The whole idea of being married for life without knowing the boy and his family sounded like a  blind game of poker for her. Ms. Uma had huge arguments with her mom who simply refused to let off the guard and allow Uma a free life out of holy matrimony. The Mom searched high and low, registered her name in various Marriage Bureau's and Shadi.com portals with Glossy Profile of tall, slim Wheatish skin Brahmin Girl, who can cook and willing to learn more kind of language. Some truth some plain lies, the profile was created. Then proposals started pouring in with similar family backgrounds, horoscopes started to match few places and the whole tamasha of dekho and dikaho began. What still wonders Ms. Uma is how did she ever  consent to all this in her strong Rebellion Glory? Yes she was and still is a rebel.

Being the Nari/Women/girl of today, she does not consent until fully convinced of the concept and most prob its only on her terms does she ever say yes. She did meet a few prospective grooms on her mothers insistence. She was not sure if she was destined to meet those prospective grooms (PG) or just plain DUMB is written on her face. She met half a dozen well educated brahmin boys as out of community was a strict NO-NO at home. In her words we will list a few of her  experiences and let you decide for that.

Enter Mr PG1
 A Software Engineer with a reputed MNC based in Pune, MS and traveling often to England the land of the Queen. This was enough for Mr. J1 to think of himself as no less than any Prince. His list of wants exceeded his list of needs. He was fair and handsome and his mother kind of made a comment on Ms. Uma's skin color and profession. But they were willing to give poor Uma a chance of pleasing MR. Charming and a second meeting was fixed. Uma's mom had high hopes only to be later told that Her pretty Daughter was placed on 3rd rank by Mr. J1 akka Mr. Charming.

Verdict:
The rebel that Uma was found this reason enough to place him on her NEVER see NEVER talk list again. Hush, Uma was very happy that day, that She had found a solid ground to reject this groom, Not that IT made her any difference as all she ever wanted; was to wiggle out of this whole Matchmaking drama every weekend.

Enter Mr. PG2
A Chartered Accountant by profession working with a State Govt entity. All he wanted was to get married and start having family with the lovey dovey wifey. After the first episode of the arranged marriage interview, Mom asked Uma to get a facial/face polish done just in case they objected to her skin color. So the meeting was arranged and the family left the two to discuss the matters out while they chit chatted over a cup of coffee. The excerpt of the interview was something like this;

Mr. PG2; so how do you like my house?
Uma; Its OK

Mr. PG2; So How do you like OUR bedroom?
Uma; (Bhag Uma Bhag!!!!) Speechless, next Q please

Mr. PG2; So how many kids you want, I want 2?
Uma; We will see

Mr. PG2; My sister is in Dubai, she wants to talk to you now?
Mr. PG2; I like yummy food everyday, so no stale food for me or morning meals for dinner
Mr. PG2; I dont like Girls wearing western clothes, so just Saree and Salwars
Mr. PG2; And I don't Like short hair, it's ok you have it now, But I like wifey have long black hair, yours is little brown, so no henna now on just godrej Black dye............

Uma was just listening to the ranting as her idea of a life partner was much beyond the looks and likes and Me, Myself and Mine.

Verdict:
Uma found another valid reason to run away from this joker as the whole idea of being desperate in the first meeting did not go down with her.  If only he would have asked about her likes, interests and dreams in life,w would she have considered him.

Enter Mr. PG3;
A PhD student in environmental Studies in India. Looks Promising. So the meeting was set up, since the Mom had some professional arrangements, Uma's Newly married SIL was designated to go along with her for the meet. Being a newly married bride, the SIL was decked with the mang mein sindoor and the nine yard mangalsutra and green bangles. Ek dumm traditional bahu she was. When the family met, J3's mom started talking to the SIL and asking her all questions meant for the bride to answer, beta, do you know cooking, my son is very absent minded, his wife has to be alert and manage all finances and bills, can you do that? Beta did you like the snacks I made, If you say yes, I will always make them for you?? Uma was finding this hilarious and the poor SIL was trying her best to divert the questions to Uma. Then finally the SIL turned the subjects and suggested that the Girl and the boy should Talk and  see for them, if they would like to meet again.. Hushhhhhhhhhhh for SIL, the mom agreed.

Mr. PG3;
 I am an avid environmentalist and I do go for protests and dharna's... Weeks or months I do NOT COME HOME, just so you know, you are free to do what you like in that time. Also being an environmentalist, I do not allow, Silks, Makeup or leather in my home.
(Uma recollected the precious leather mojdi's she was wearing, the batik leather bag she cherished and fought for with SIL, and the en-number of lipsticks and liners in her pouch...)
I also believe in sustainable life, so my plan is to built  a shack and do gardening all my life. Probably get a cow or goat and  find solace. IF you want to have kids, get them education or luxuries you have to find a way for that YOURSELF. I am getting late for my meditation and have to leave for the protest preparation. So let me know what you think.

Verdict;
Uma was happy and sad at the same time. Happy coz she was again free and would not have to justify her denial but sad  because such people existed, who taught that home, kids and future of them, is still in one persons hand. IF she wanted to raise any kid by HERSELF, why would she even marry??? she might as well adopt a baby and give him/her  a better future without the baggage of marriage.

Enter Mr. PG4;
A Chartered accountant and only son of his aging parents. A true Shravan baal in many ways except he did not want just a wife, he wanted  a WORKING wife. He wanted a secured life, so he need not have to work hard to achieve simple joys. He wanted  a 3 BHK in the prime location in the city, wanted a ideal daughter in law for his mom, who would not enter the kitchen once he is married. He wanted a wife who will be quiet and and not ever complain, ask or crib about the work around the house, give her MIL all her salary to decide how much she would get for her expenses, and if she would ever get some days to visit her parents and also the girl will have to manage everything Alone.  Uma was not mentally prepared for all the work laid out for her even before she committed to it. Being a daughter to a working mom, Uma was used to doing housework, studies and even working while studying, but having it spelt out made it look like a BIG job. Having brother and him being married, Uma knew about the saas- bhau(MIL_DIL) drama and clashes that usually would arise, but her SIL and Mom being so extra sweet to each other, she had never experienced any clashes first hand. Of course the opinion differed between them, but it was resolve din a very friendly neutral way. NO hair pulling or biting words hurled at each other.

Verdict:
Uma rejected this proposal also, sole reason being she valued her financial independence more than anything. NO way would she throw her in laws out at that age, she would not tolerate her parents subjected to this agony, so she would never dream of doing that to anyone's. What pained Uma was the thought of giving up the financial freedom, begging for her own money and working like  a dog with no benefits of simple happiness and peace of mind, all this for  a total stranger. Seemed like too much of  a bargain. Being a lawyer plus having worked in family court, alerted all the red flags such marriages invoked. Uma successfully wiggled out of the situation.

Days passed turning into weeks, Stories of Uma' groom search started making the vines of gossip. Uma often was labelled as the Hunterwali, meaning a strong feminist. Relatives posing as well wishers started questioning about Uma choice, saying why do you want an educated understanding groom, just see if he has  a job and settle down, Free your Mom from this trouble. Uma was hurt with the ways were going and frustrated equally that she was not finding anyone tor relive her mom from this burden.Result was, Uma started staying alone, stopped attending family events and in general stopped going for any get together where any closely related  groom search talk was involved. She concentrated on  building her legal practice and clients. She was doing extremely well and rounds of a new promising lawyer took Uma to a happy place in life. She regained the confidence that was butchered by some proposals who denied her because she was not fair and  beautiful like Aishwarya Rai, some rejected Uma as she was a lawyer poking fun as in you like to fight so you are  a lawyer, how lame can you be, do you ask a surgeon, oh you like to cut people so you are  a surgeon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uma had enough of this whole drama that was arranged every weekend in hopes that this Sunday might be the lucky day!!!

Uma requested her Mom to kind of give her a time out for  a few weeks and resume the whole thing if Uma is not successful in finding her a husband in the next few weeks. Mom understood her pain so she agreed and search for Uma husband was put on hold. Uma decided to take  a break and planned a small vacation to be with her brother and SIL. Off she went happy to be out of the weekly episodes. In the time she was gone, Mom got a call that sort of changed things for Uma.

Lucky One
Mr. One's mom called Uma's mom asking to meet the girl as her son would be visiting  from London for 2 weeks only for business and she would like him to be hitched in that time. Mom told her that it would not be possible as Uma was not in the country and was unlikely to be back in the 2 weeks. Both moms decided that if both are not able to find respective partners they would call again in December when Mr. One comes for his annual vacation.

Uma came back refreshed from her vacation and was not able to find any husband, so the search was back on. This time around she was lucky enough to escape the meetings as Uma was rejected in the bio itself. Grooms from USA/outside India thought what will she do in USA as she will not be able to work and help them financially, some in India taught she has short hair, wears western clothes and is a lawyer, maybe she would not be an wife material. December came too soon and as not expected, Mom got a call. This time again Mr. One's mom asked for the meeting saying that some or the other reason being, the search for the bride was still on for Mr. One. So the meeting was decided. We were invited to their home. The reason given was, Mr. One insisted that its Uma who has to live here, she better see the kind of home we have.

Meeting day;
Uma was feeling restless for no apparent reason the whole of that Saturday, the day she was supposed to meet Mr. One. She had met many prospective grooms before, so today should be no different. Her Mom kept saying that she was getting positive vibes from the first call she had in June. Uma tried to ignore all the butterflies in her stomach and her moms words in her ears and concentrated at work. After finishing all her work, she decided to go home and get ready for the big meet. As planned she was going to meet her parents at some common junction point and then go together from there. Uma was wearing her favorite mojdi's, yes the leather ones. She smiled looking at them and suddenly something snapped. The sole came off and the mojdi was  in need of help. Having no cobbler in sight and no time on hand, Uma decided to pack the torn mojdi's and  buy new sandals. She carefully packed the torn mojdi's and hid them in her bag and went to meet Mr. One.

After the casual formalities and hellos were exchanged, The girl and the boy were left alone to talk. Silence was what followed the initial Hi. Then more silence. Uma being the chirpy girl could not take the silence with the stranger so she asked the formal regular questions about his hobbies, work and in general chit chat. She was out of all her questions and what followed after that was more SILENCE.
The meeting was over. ON the way home, Mom was curious to know what she felt. TO play it safe and avoid  100 questions after that, Uma said she will need time to think about what she felt(of all that SILENCE.)

Sunday night., Mom got a call again. From Mr. One's mom saying he wants a second meet and ask few questions. FINALLY!!! he is talking. Now Uma was nervous. She had to take some decision and all eyes were on her now. SIL and Uma had a long talk and she decided to meet him again. This time in a public place or a cafe. Uma reached the spot early and had to wait for him for whole 10 minutes. He came bang on time. Uma liked punctuality and was happy to start the note positively. The questions that followed after that were very new for Uma. he seemed practical reasonable, never asked how much she made every month. He was more interested in knowing more about the person Uma was. What made her happy, what disturbed her, what issues she faced everyday while working. He asked Uma to learn a new hobby as He was posted in London for 2-3 years, so that time she would need a hobby to pass her time. He agreed to help in cooking, housework and said if the house is theirs then work is also theirs. He disliked the idea of one person working all the time and the other idling his time over TV.

Verdict:
Uma was sold on the idea of helping in housework and liked his approach to life. He wanted  a life partner who would be his best friend and his best critic, a girl who has her own identity, speaks her mind and calls spade a spade. The whole idea of matches made in heaven started making sense to Uma. She finally found a life partner and a friend who understood her without any words and had no major expectation from Uma apart from being a reasonable wife and making reasonable adjustments.


This is the just one story of one Uma and her search of Mr. Right. This story is partly fictional partly true, maybe self experienced maybe imagined, who knows, IT might be your story or mine.Shadi ka ladoo( Fruit of marriage) however you have it, be it love or arranged, needs equal amounts of sweetness, trust, stability, and most time saying I love you when in fact you want to scream get the hell out of here. Marriage is  a bond that gets stronger as you get older, give it time, nourishment and efforts for it to start bearing any fruits. Love can happen or it can be arranged to happen, how and what you do with it makes all the difference.


UPDATE;
 This entry won a runner up prize in the contest

Home made Goatmilk Lavender Soap

 

Hello Dearies!!! I am like most crafty girls. Anything new I see my friends doing, I Need to know how and what they did. Creating with my hands de-stresses me like no spa can. I mean I like pampering and all that comes along with it, a sap day out, with friends and then chit chat with snacks is my dream day. But with busy jobs and hectic life, such things are a dream for few of us. I saw my friend N do these soaps. I simply awed at her skills, the bar of soap never looked so pure and unique. A weekend trip to Amish Village in PA, USA also added insult to injury when I saw the homemade soaps they were selling for $3 each. The stuff used for flavoring and scent were our daily spices and oils. There were clove oil soaps along with some peppermint soaps. I have few of these oils in my pantry for various reasons like some old medicinal uses. Indian homes believe strongly in home remedies. Clove oil is recommended for toothache and eucalyptus oil for cold and sinus.
The wonderful world of soap looked too good to miss out. So I visited my local arts and crafts supply store. With my 40% weekly store coupon, I came back with the goat milk base and the mold. I had few essential oils and olive oil at home. My SIL had gifted me the aromatherapy oil set with the guide book, and the bottles.

I am all set. The wonder never ceases as I can mix and change according to my mood and fancy. Its as easy as 1-2 -3. Video link for melt and pour.
1- Melt
2- Add and stir
3. Pour and set in molds.

This batch I made is of lavender oil and cedarwood oil. Next batch is likely to be with lavender oil and Shea butter along with some sesame oil. Wish me luck and join me in this wonderful world of home made soap. The options and combinations are endless. If I get good feedback from the free samples I am giving away;  I can even do a small giveaway around Diwali time. So stick around to enjoy a piece of my craft.

Progressed?? Really? Sincere letter to fellow Indians

Hello Fellow Indians,
How are you all doing? It's been 10 long years that I left my homeland to pursue the dream that I along with my husband saw for a better life, enriched life and quality family time when we set up our temporary home in USA. Temporary coz we still had and have our roots strong back home in India. We came here with a plan of staying for few years, saving enough for  a comfortable life back home, to pursue our passions, do what we might want to and give our kids  a financial stability. Is it such a big deal/wish that you all taunted us, laughed at us, mocked us and made fun of us that each time we returned to USA our new home, with a feeling of loneliness, emptiness and a feeling of abandonment within our hearts. With each trip, our love and hope for our dream kind of died  a slow death. We read about how great life was back home, how people had found new rays of financial freedom, and how return to India was fast flourishing, professionals who had returned were making a huge deal of how great their life had become, their wives were raving about how they lived king size and did no work as they had  a fleet of maids and etc etc.Ideally they were living our dream. Part of us thought of dropping all we had here and going back, to our glorious careers and  giving up the dogs life working for someone 9-5 Monday to Friday.  The progress in the newspapers and revenue figures were doing the talk that India the new age formula for success was what all about. The issues of political instability, terror attacks and the day to day corruption to get smallest work done did not make any space in our mind, Common Man making rally's Anna Hazare's Lok Pal bill agenda were showing promises, The RTI/Right to Information started making sense to us. We kept trying to strike a balance between our Indian roots and American lifestyle, trying to make our kids more Indian than kids in India. Regular rounds of Hindi School, shloka classes, Indian dance forms were kept alive in our hearts and homes.

But then instances that happened tore our conscious and made us question , is this the India that we left behind? is this the same set of people who throw their old parents and fight with siblings over petty property maters? is it the same India where class and caste discrimination had gone leaps and bounds? where neighborhood love and watch has lost its identity in the huge high rise towers? IS this new age Indian really progressed? Has the Indian mindset really Progressed? Female Infanticide is still existent in great numbers even in Metro cities, Girls are not safe from eve-teasing, Women of all shapes and sizes are also not spared from un-needful touching, being in public places stirs a caution in the mind of a girl's father, Girls are still Girls in this progressive India....News flashes that I saw on TV last few days and then the entire weekend about the poor girl who dared t o live her dream and do what she liked, faced the consequences of dreaming the dream in Progressed India?

TO think about it, there were about 30 guys who abused her and the media and the cameraman with his crew simply took coverage and publicized the NEWS. The entire neighborhood watched and gasped, not one lady/women came to her rescue, there would have been a minimum of 100 women in that neighborhood, each having at least 2 hands and 5 sets of slippers at their disposal, but they were too lame to come ahead jointly and save the poor girl from the beasts, these citizens of progressed India have no right to be called Humans as their deeds are no less than the beasts, The Concept of "To each his own" is shining in the new progressing India, what my father goes, mere baap ka kya jaata hain, uska hain woh hi dekhe, is so prominent that it scares us to return home. The guys were no doubt at fault, but they just raped her body, the media and the people who watched the whole tamasha raped her mind and conscious as well. Who is at fault, the perpetrators who committed the crimes, the girl or the media who publicized the matter by showing the clips again and again to keep the fire burning?



Hence, I am writing to you all;
1. who mocked us and made fun of us apparently to hide your jealousy and lack of ability to have worked hard to achieve and try live your life;
2. who call themselves proud Indian, but do nothing to make India proud of you;
3. who say what can a Common Man do, after all he is too common;
4. who forget India's Independence day but start planning for Valentine's day a month ahead;
5. who forget to give is to get;
and lastly to all Indians who have forgotten the values of Humanity and Humbleness, who line up from 4AM on the stairs of the temple to worship the goddess, but treat their wives, and women folk like a piece of dirt;

Kindly make an effort today, to rejoin the lost human emotions that made us different than the animals around us, IT was god's wish that we be Humans and not the animals, he blessed us with the gift of brain to think and language to use it wisely. Cannot bear to see the Cherished heritage of Glorified India going to the dogs.

Yours Truly;
 An (NRI) Non Resident or Not Required (is for you to decide)Indian


 

A Lion's Mane and Lioness with no hair- some hairy issues

Indiblogger and Dove have teamed up once again for an intresting contest on Dove and Hair care. The subject line made me realize that having hair or not having hair is no longer an individual decision. To be or not to be with hair is not only your business but the business of dove and like...every 3rd ad on TV is about fairness cream and hair oil or shampoo. Till a few years it was targeting females, but last few ad's which I happened to see targeted males for fair skin....Love is associated with something that is here today and gone tomorrow. Cutting the long of it, having short or shorter hair all my young life made a victim if ridicule and anguish. Having curly and very thin hair did no help. Feminism is associated with long black hair, well styled hair and usually fair skin and long hair are the most wanted things in the bride search.

When I write this post, I am amazed at the way Gods Thinking process worked, Hence this title.  He blessed Lion with his mane and lioness with none, he blessed a peacock with nice colorful long feathers, but pea hen with none....only place where He seriously messed up was with Humans..he blessed girls with hair and made boys with none or fairly less. Imagine how it would be, if he blessed boys with hair and girls with less;
1) in a Indian wedding setting, The bride is ready in a jiffy with just a change of dress and the groom sends a message, give me 15 mins have to do my hair....or
2)where the girl rejects the boy saying his hair is too small almost looks like  a girl.

When I was growing up, Prothima Bedi/Persses Khambatta made BIG news, y you ask, because     they dared do the thing NO Lady in glam biz dared, they bid farewell to their locks of love. They sported Wati cuts. All my childhood went by having such role models, that if they did big with no hair, why make it a huge deal when I have no hair. Only my loved ones thought, that I had beautiful mane just like Mr. Lion. Only later was I told that with my shocking dry curls, I at times looked like him...

When time came to search for Mr. Ash, my mom freaked out at the thought of the grooms hair being longer than her doll's...oh what a poor mom to do now?...so search began for some products that will obviously keep the roots hydrated as to not create any static that will make my hair stand. Some prospective grooms did decline or reject Ms.Ash saying her hair is at fault, some were rude and some were sympathetic, either ways they were disappointing. IF all was good, can a mere Hair fact not be ignored...Apparently not; even in highly educated Indian classes.

Lesson were learnt and time had come to change the role models for now, I was fantasizing abut Dimple Kapadia..even watched Sagar movie for some clues...And as per instructions, I started reading Femina and Agony aunt columns, any hair care articles that came my way, henna with eggs started marking Sunday rituals, and deep conditioning was ordered. The salon girls started hushing about how the Henna has affected my hair and how I resembled a freshly baked potato . I was again lost, wasn't henna and eggs supposed to make your hair nice soft and strong. Were'nt the girls supposed to GUSH about my orange hair and not hush around me??

All in vain, Ms. Ash accepted the fact, that maybe she was not destined to play with her own hair. Being the positive person she is, she thought that all wa snot lost, having some is much better than having none. Life moved on.

Fast Forward to a couple of years, she met Mr. Ash and love happened with the soul with no hair to play a role, she came to the land of dreams and started using Dove. Then fate changed, when the seasons played a game, her hair was no longer dry and suddenly the curls were tamed. She was however not ready for the sudden change, was it love or was it dove??? maybe little dove and lots of love for myself, was the key to end my hair problems!

Slowly but steadily, over the years my hair has improved with the Dove intense therapy formula and now I have resolved for hair donation with locks of love. Regular oiling, conditioning  and having a balanced lifestyle are the mantras for hair care. Stress is the main cause of hair fall and bad hair, unless you are hair challenged like Ms. Ash. But even if you are, if I can do it you can too. So whats stopping you from loving yourself and loving your hair? Get dovey with Dove.. and feel the world change with you.

I will big goodbye to you with this piece of news on yahoo. Watch this link and decide for yourselve, the value of your hair in someone's eye.

Like Dove on Facebook

 This post is my entry to the ‘My Beautiful Hair Story’ contest organized by Dove and Indiblogger.

To each his own.

"Be the change that you want to see" and "Charity begins from home" are a few of the quotes that are brainwashed on our minds and written on thoughts of the day boards in school. We grew up reading and trying hard to understand how they can be implemented in our sorry lives. The teachers took pains in making us learn the words the meanings we hardly understood, implementing them would be far as a stone. Seriously do we need the things we learn in schools? I am a great supporter of education specially education for women and young girls, but what needs to be done is teaching life skills to survive on those skills if god forbid we need them to support our lives. The main aim in any good Indian house is getting a couple of degrees, then joining the job force and grinding till the retirement age and retiring to a hefty pension or savings to live the rest of our life on. But what about the life skills like cooking, sewing or even do it your own jobs. These are just the tip of the ice berg I want to see the changes in. Start small and go big is my way of getting around the issues. Plant a seed, grow  a tree, do stuff with your kids that they will appreciate, buying a X Box seems pretty cool, but try playing it with them also.

'Be the change Contest" from Indiblogger has once again given me the motivation to write my thoughts and raise my voice on smaller things that bother me a s a MOM and a human being.

We Indians call ourselves free and liberal from age old myths and traditions, yet are we OK with actually sharing the apartment building with a taxi driver, or a Janitor? We say we no longer believe in castes and caste based professions, yet when our kid decides to marry into another caste, we raise hue and cry and blame the next gen for all wrong happening in our society. First and foremost thing to be changed is how we think and how we react. I realized when I landed in  the USA as  a newly married wife, that we as Indians are generally so judgmental of the others that we forget that the basic principle of any relationship or friendship is Mutual Respect. When my son started daycare, he came home one day and told my mom that his best friends is an American with  half french half Chinese background. It took some time for us to realize that it is an individual identity that the kid has by adopting half of each cultures from each parent. Another jolt for my poor mom was when he mentioned another kid with 2 moms and no dad. It was all OK in this culture and we never winked any eyebrows or passed nasty stares when we met their parents. When I moved to my newer town, one of my neighbor was a Limo Driver and another was a psychiatrist. I was amazed at the diversity and the kind of life this society offered to me. This got me thinking Would I be so proud about this had I been In India. I would have bragged that my neighbor is one of the big shot doctor, and yet wisely hidden the fact that another was a mere Limo Driver. Would I have been comfortable of letting my kids mingle with the drivers kids? Are we surely liberal in all that we do today???

Another thing that stung me bad was the attitude we as Indians have. We want to make friends thinking of all the benefits we can extract from that relation. How much we give is not important as how much can we get back? Selfishness is growing leaps and bounds and there is no stopping this monster. It first starts with colleagues and pulling legs in office, taking credit for others work, slowly it crawls to our homes. We abuse our old parents leave them out under the name of Stress. How easy it is for us to throw them out like  a pair of old clothes or sneakers. Have we thought of the age old saying "Reap what you Sow", is this the kind of India we saw grew up in? Where is the humbleness, politeness gone? How many of us get up in  a crowded train/bus and offer seat to an ailing aged or handicapped?

If I were to change a few things,I would start with the moral ethics of all Indians and humans in general.What is not mine is not mine..period.. it cannot get simpler than this...if a 2 year old can understand this, why do we as adults find it so hard to digest? When we see someone in difficulty, why do we say, To each his own and not try and help that person? Are we so aloof as humans that we cannot share a drop of tear with anyone. "I am Busy" has  a new meaning as I do not want to there for you.

Making a few minor changes that can make major differences in the society  we live in. I am, not aiming at bigger changes  to change the country, but smaller ones to make  a huge difference. After all what am I, But just a Mom!!!

This post is written for the contest and if you are a part of the Indiblogger please vote for me and also like
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